Through the Looking-Glass
by 221bfanfic
Summary: Since season 3, the shooting style and content of "BBC Sherlock" has been changed. The story now more and more jumping and bizarre, and the colour dazzling, just like Sherlock has entered a dream. As if Alice had crossed the mirror and entered another world. If what we watched really is a world in the mirror, what happened on the other side of the mirror?
1. The Reichenbach Fall

*The following is excerpted from blog drafts that never have been published by Dr John H. Watson.

* * *

I couldn't believe he'd told me to keep my eyes fixed on him, to watch him fell on the ground.

I rushed across the road, through the crowd, shouting that I am his friend, asking them to let me check his injuries.

The moment I touched his wrist, I almost fainted.

His heart is still beating.

I can still feel his pulse.

The ambulance crew arrived very quickly and sent him to the hospital.

I was weak, but I still stood up with my own will, only staring at him until he was gone.

The sky was grey and drizzling.

My Sherlock is still alive.

thank God. Although my heart followed him to fall down from the rooftop, passed several floors, still hadn't broken into pieces, still struggling to survive.

You should stick to it as well, overcome all the things then give me an explanation.

You said nonsense on the phone, I don't believe any of it.

I know it must be a trick or you just found a good solution but couldn't tell me.

You jumped in front of my eyes must be a part of the plan.

Wake up and tell me the truth.

Otherwise, I will never forgive you.


	2. Many Happy Returns

I am at Baker Street, just watched the DVD again, which you recorded for my birthday last year.

You were so arrogant and rude in the video, and so cute and charming, just like you have always been.

Baker Street still the same as you are living here. Of course, you maybe wake up anytime. If you come back and find something wrong or missing here, you would be furious and I'm afraid I or Mrs Hudson would be blamed, and our poor wall most likely would suffer again.

Now I and Mrs Hudson living normally, waiting for you to come home.

Here is your home. The hospital is not.

Don't always fell into a deep sleep, like a child.

It's enough, get up! The Scotland Yard and the British government have a lot of interesting cases waiting for you. Lack of your extraordinary mind, your brother and Greg should have headaches, and the criminals in London feel lonely as well.

Without the most ridiculous bastard's intellectual sarcasm, my birthday is not the same.

My life is not the same.

I need you, Sherlock.


	3. The Empty Hearse

My blog hasn't been updated.

Lacked your extraordinary mind, I lost our exciting adventures. Nothing happened to me.

Without you, I am nothing.

Unexpectedly, when I faded out of the blogosphere, a new forum which using you as a subject raised.

It turned out that Anderson is attached to you and your great mind just like me. He built a forum called "The Empty Hearse", remembering you with other Sherlock Holmes fans by discussing some fictional details about you.

When I read you these little stories by your bedside, I saw your lip curled. Did you find it amusing when you heard the "sparks" between you and Molly or even Moriarty?

I really want to hear the sarcastic comments by your own mouth.

Just like you have been ruthlessly criticizing Scotland Yard and Anderson.

Miss your voice when you made fun of me.

Did you hear what Mycroft said by your bedside, about the terrorist attack on the Houses of Parliament? I thought the case would be faster to be solved if you were there. Waiting for you to wake up and work with me again. Without our exciting adventures, the amount of exercise is greatly reduced, sitting around you all day, muttering, I'll soon become a nagging middle-aged short fat man.

The new nurse named Mary looks very cheerful and talkative, quite smart too. Do you like her? When I was playing the crossword puzzle this morning, she commented me with your tone suddenly, which surprised me. I just thought, if I met her before I had known you, maybe I would like her. Maybe because I can capture on her, a little bit of your shadow?

People always have a type.


	4. The Sign of Three

I received a wedding invitation from Clara, and the wedding will be held in a small, intimate manor. It reminded me of her unhappy marriage with Harry. Their marriage also began with a bright and warm wedding. I was Harry's best man and attended the wedding with a sad smile, as I just broken up with my ex-commander in the army.

Followed by the wedding invitation is to take care of a drunken Harry. She said Clara was deceived by the bad guy and they only get married because he got her pregnant. Harry said it just like she was dating a ghost. She can't understand how the sweet good old days were gone, and her partner disappeared suddenly, only left her in the memories and cannot move on.

Frankly, it was the first time I agreed with Harry.

Because I got the same feeling, heartache like stabbed by a knife.

How could you just fell into the deep sleep, and leave me awake?

It's like being stabbed deeply but just doesn't feel anything.

When discovering the uncontrolled bleeding, it was no longer can be saved.

My feeling for you was no longer can be saved.

Killing you is equal to killing me.


	5. His Last Vow

I don't quite like Dr Magnussen and the night-shift nurse who named Janine.

It might due to the helpless feeling that I don't have any power over your situation even though I am a doctor. Let the person I've valued the most being controlled in other people's hands - it's so threatening that made me think Dr Magnussen is a powerful man who dominates other people's lives and deaths, whose decision would affect our destiny.

And Janine said she is a fan of Sherlock Holmes.

You ought to laugh. I even started to feel jealous of your fan. When I came and found that she was taking care of you, helping you to clean your face and body, or just only looking at you tenderly, I felt angry like my own position was replaced by someone else.

It is a difficult time, but I only think about such nonsensical things.

Maybe being overwhelming by emotions is much easier than defeating by the desperately rational.

I saw your parents. Even Mycroft's boss came to see you.

I know the situation is not very optimistic.

Your heartbeat stopped for a while.

When the medical team trying to save you, I prayed for God to give me another miracle. I begged you to not die, for me.

I know you heard it, I know.

That's why I can hear again, the most beautiful sound in the world - your heartbeat.


	6. The Abominable Bride

* We returned to Sherlock's mind palace from this chapter.

* * *

I knew something wrong, gone wrong from the deep part, my brain going wrong.

This is an old problem.

I hate women. Why was there a widow-dressed woman standing in our living room?

Ah, Mary.

A short, bold, smart blond, has a nasty secret connection with Mycroft - ah, that's familiar!

It's John.

If that's John's image in my mind... Why did he become a "widow"? Who's dead?

But Mary's husband is supposed to be John?

Mary Watson.

Marry Watson?

Who's the abominable bride with a gun? Mary Watson.

Mary Watson in her wedding dress who shot me in my mind palace.

The woman who married John Watson with a terrible secret.

A lovely blonde woman with a medical background, who worked in the same clinic with John and flirted with him, even invaded Baker Street and smart enough to contribute our case investigation.

Wait... is she Sarah Sawyer?

A woman hidden an unknown past since five years ago had participated in criminal acts and changed her identity to live a new life in London in order to escape enemies. She might not be a British, claiming to be an orphan, and is an expert in her field. May have a secret tattoo.

It sounds familiar too... that's Soo Lin Yao!

A woman had a child and an unhappy marriage, who was blonde and cheating her husband. The baby is a girl and the name started with R.

The dead blonde in A Study in Pink.

And the fictional Abominable Bride - why with a gun? Why wearing a wedding dress? Why is her image overlapping with Mary Watson in my mind palace? Why did I finally find out that the "bride" was played by multiple women?

Does Mary Watson exist after all? Why all her backgrounds and characteristics overlap with someone I knew in the past?

It's like, I am not a Victorian at all.

I shouldn't have the mind of that era, thinking that feelings are an obstacle which difficult to talk about, thinking that being a successful detective should suppress desires.

John Watson shouldn't have a Victorian beard anymore!


	7. The Six Thatchers

John Watson shaved the Victorian beard but kept a Victorian hairstyle.

Just like Mary Watson's hairstyle has changed, changed to a curly one just like mine. Even her clothes have been more and more like my style.

I can't remember when their images had been changed no matter how hard I tried. Just like being in a dream, although everything seems so real, you can't find the way how you got into the situation - it started from the middle of the scene, you can't find a hint what happened at the beginning.

There were many mirrors and reflections.

The continually repeated plots always could find subtle differences.

John was widowed again.

He blamed me this time and said it was my fault.

He said I killed his other half.

Obviously, I just committed suicide. For his safety, I could only commit suicide.

Is Mary Watson an enemy or a friend? She shot me at my heart, but end up was shot dead by the bullet which aimed at me...

If the same person shot and was shot, what would it call? Suicide.

Suicide. Like me. I had been thought it was the only way could save John at that moment.

But Mary told me to save John.

How?

Go to hell.

I am already being in hell.

Why Mary's looking becoming more and more like mine? Because "Mary Watson" is "marry Watson"? - Marry Watson, my most frightening thought, afraid that one day a woman will appear and marry Watson, this idea is so painful like shooting my heart.

Marry Watson, also my most longed dream, a dream that I dare not to imagine, that even at a fictional wedding banquet, I only dare to be his best man although wearing the groom's costume standing next to him.

It's ridiculous to think about the murder plot at the wedding. Would anyone plan to kill by such a stupid method - a blade that delays bleeding? But if it is a metaphor, let someone got into your heart when you didn't realise, so when that person pulled out, you would hurt to die - that sounds reasonable. (So that is a romantic relationship?)

Everything about Magnussen and Appledore is very real but unlikely in a way. Did I imagine a super version mind palace just because I have a similar one? A transparent screen floating on the air (playing the video which I rushing to John, who was under the fire at that moment) - is that invention exists? It's impossible to wear the hospital gown and walk with the IV bag to the restaurant to meet Magnussen, everyone knows that the hospital gown can't cover patient's back, which makes you like naked wearing it. (Although I'd only weared a sheet in Buckingham Palace)

Seems real but illogical when you think about it, just like dreams.

Too many unlikely things. Such as the lost train and the terrorist attack on the abandoned station, both would be too stupid to plan. Heart-shaped bomb with a simple switch to turn off the explosion? it sounds like a prop from a reality TV show. And the countdown stayed at 1:29...

January 29th is our anniversary.

So everything is for you.

I came to hell, for you.

In order to save you, I must go back!


End file.
